Not The Nine O’Clock News: Woman Has Baby!

So congratulations to the happy couple. I think as a republican I can actually say that without doffing my cap and tugging my forelock.
It is ridiculous of course that the British Head of State is decided this way. That the “Royal Baby” will grow up to be King of England. I suppose that it is a good thing that it wasnt twins…I have seen “The Man In The Iron Mask”.
If the hereditary principle actually worked, England would have a great Football team….the children and grandchildren of Bobby Charlton, Geoff Hurst, Martin Peters and the rest of the World Cup winning team of 1966 would be in their national team.
Nobody seriously suggests that this would be a good way to select a football team and yet oddly it is seriously regarded as being a good way to select a Head of State.
England is a lucky country. In 1914-1918. In 1939-1945. And no Revolutions since 1688.
The great myth about British monarchy is the consistency…in actual fact the rules are made up as it goes along. Accomodations with History. One step ahead of the posse. From the “abdication” of James II to the “abdication” of Edward VIII. The latest wheeze of amending the law of succession so that a female child is regarded as equal is merely one step in a longer historic process.
“Prince” Charles talks about being the Defender of ALL FAITHS rather than THE FAITH. But the bar on a Catholic ascending the Throne is surely not something that can withstand scrutiny in the 21st century.
And what exactly is the theological basis that makes the King/Queen of England Supreme Head of the English Church.
As we know, Monarchy works best when it is in the Darkness. Shine a light on it and it is absurd.
Back in the 1960s the BBC and the Firm as the Royal Family calls itself …conspired to show the British Public a fly in the wall documentary series on the Windsors.
It made Huw Weldon a knight of the realm and the “Duke of Edinburgh” was congratulated on his foresight in bringing the Firm into the modern era.
The British Royal Family is NOT a Documentary.
It is a soap opera.
The Queen is played by an actress called Elizabeth Windsor. The Queen is politically nuetral but the actress is part od a conservative shire tweedy cousinage.
The kilt-wearing Duke of Edinburgh is actually a Greek- born German. Mel Gibson was a more convincing Scot in Braveheart.
Prince Charles is but a heartbeat away from being Supreme Governor of the Church of England…the fox hunting conservationalist. And a man who rather enjoyed too much “Droit de Seigneur” in his bachelor years with a ready supply of English Roses being offered.
And Princess Anne is the designated Scot, assigned the role of attending Scottish Rugby matches and failing to look po-faced during the singing of “Flower of Scotland”.

Of course Diana, The Queen of Hearts changed all that and the real Queen started to look like Helen Mirren. Having royally (literaly) screwed every gal from the shires, the only posh virgin left in England was a bit of a thicko. But at least she played the game….provided the Heir and Spare…William and Harry.
Reversing History..Edward VIII was a playboy and his brother George VI was a dullard….it is William who is the family man and Harry who is the playboy.
To be honest I think Harry has the better deal. He may never be King of England but he is amply compensated with a steady supply of hot and cold running women.
Dont mention Diana.
Dont mention “Its A Royal Knockout” and whatever happened to Stuart Hall?
The point now is that after the tabloid excesses the Media are now fully on board at re-building the tattered image of the Royal Family. The Queen gets to appear with James Bond. The Duke of Edinburgh isnt a nasty old racist…he is just the embarrasing old politically incorrect grandad at Christmas Dinner.
I used to think that the Royal Family was absurd but somehow suited the English character. Actually …I was wrong. Most THINKING English people realise that the past 48 hours has been absurd. A travesty. An embarrassment.
The crowds that celebrate ar really inadequate people who just want to be on TV.
“I came all the way from Northampton”
But actually those “royalists” are NOT typical.
The real English people see thru the nonsense…and are much too polite to do anything about it.

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